Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Rooney files lawsuit against Schweinsteiger for chopping off legs

Bastian chopping off Rooney's legs

Bayern Munich and Manchester United played to a 1-1 draw Tuesday in the first leg of a Champions League quarterfinal. Nemanja Vidic got the Red Devils on the board in the 58th minute while Bastian Schweinsteiger notched the equalizer for the defending champs in the 66th minute. But it was a moment between United star Wayne Rooney and the Bayern vice-captain that had Old Trafford buzzing. After the German drew a yellow card earlier in the second half, Rooney had possession late in the match when Schweinsteiger went in for the tackle. The tackle was soooo bad that Rooney's legs ripped off his body, as the United star fell in pain screaming "Murder".

A report by The Mirror said that following the end of the match Rooney immediately went to file a lawsuit against Schweinsteiger for attempt to murder. The local Police have confirmed the news.
When contacted the Manchester police, Officer Grant, said that "Yes Rooney was here, the injury looked real bad and he was fuming with anger. We gave him the required documents to fill out the lawsuit, however after 20 mins later he suddenly gets up and walks away"

A neighborhood kid who was also present at the scene said "I was there to complaint of these kids bullying me always. Suddenly i see Wayne also there. He sits beside me and keeps asking me to spell some name called "Shwinetiger", we tried many combinations. Since we both couldn't figure out the right spelling he got frustrated and left".
An unhappy Schweinsteiger twice spoke to Rooney about the incident before walking off.
Schweinsteiger is suspended for the return leg at the Allianz Arena on 9 April, along with Javi Martínez, although with Mario Götze, who was rested, and Dante to return Pep Guardiola has options available.

The English press is calling for Schweinstiger' s head, as now their only hope for winning the World Cup has huge chances of missing it.


Sunday, 7 May 2006

Oliver Khan calls for Bayern to search the legendary Dragon Balls

Der Titan, "Balls, YOU need balls"
"Eier, wir brauchen Eier!" Yes that's right , that's exactly what you need. When asked what Bayern lacked when they lost against Schalke , Oliver Khan repeated the exact same words.
"I have been a big fan of the Dragon Ball series, if this team ever wants to win anything , then the only way we can achieve this is by summoning Shenron, the dragon and ask him to give this team some winning mentality and more trophies"
The Dragon balls are a set of seven orange, crystalline spheres with the ability to call forth the Eternal Dragon Shenron who has the ability to grant wishes to anyone who gathers all seven of them. 

The Dragon Balls
"No one makes fun of the Dragon Balls" says the Titan as quoted by Bild. A report from Goal.com also carried a story of a Bayern player once mocking the Dragon ball series, Khan vented out his frustration during the match by sucker punching him right in the face.
Khan on his way to beat Bommel for making fun of DBZ

Kahn is one of the most successful German players in recent history, having won eight Bundesliga titles, six DFB-Pokals, the UEFA Cup in 1996, the UEFA Champions League and the Intercontinental Cup, both achieved in 2001. His individual contributions have earned him four consecutive UEFA Best European Goalkeeper awards, three IFFHS World's Best Goalkeeper awards, and two German Footballer of the Year trophies. At the 2002 FIFA World Cup, Kahn became the first and only goalkeeper in the tournament's history to win the Golden Ball. He credits all his success to the Dragon Balls.